🎧 married in the pit

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howdy folks. let’s just pretend it hasn’t been 3 months since we last spoke. alas, i have risen from my hibernation and ready to fill you in on what you’ve missed. please forgive me, i’m rusty.

remember that all typos are intentional just to make sure you’re paying attention.

OPENING ACTS

this quarter in music headlines

• in case the rock you live under doesn’t have cell service, Weezer’s bassist’s wife was shot when she aimed a gun at a cop. meanwhile, the show goes on???

• Severance theme song in the style of Super Mario 64 because none of us knew we needed this but here we are and i’m in love

• Kevin Hart did an NPR Tiny Desk concert on April Fool’s Day but i still don’t know if it was a joke

• that one time The Who picked a rando from the audience to play drums because Keith Moon passed out from drugs. classic.

• Keanu Reeves is the villain

LOVE IS IN DESPAIR

married in the mosh pit

okay so here’s a cute story. first, a primer.

Cannibal Corpse is a fucked up band. they play death metal music that is transgressive to the max. their lyrics are violent and gag-inducing, their imagery doubly so. literally, just imagine the most messed up horror movie you’ve ever seen, multiplied by every Law and Order SVU cold-open, and you still will still not come close to the grotesqueness to be found inside the world of this band. their most popular song is called Hammer Smashed Face.

as is the case with many death metal acts, their persona is an artistic expression and not an endorsement. seemingly, Russia and Germany do not care.

a lot of people love it. it’s a horror movie in music form. the band is comprised of some of the goofiest dudes you’ve ever seen, and when you see them play, they are having fun up there. i saw them live this week at the theater at Madison Square Garden. here is a video. try not to laugh. this is serious!!

anyways! in what may be the starkest contrast in modern music history, something magical happened at a recent Cannibal Corpse show in Pittsburgh. a couple, who is bonded by a mutual affection for all things death metal, decided that getting married in the mosh pit to the tune of “Unleashing the Bloodthirsty” was the natural thing to do. so they did. surrounded by sweaty men pushing each other around. the ceremony was something special. see below.

@hornehub

Ts went HARD ⛓️⚒️ #cannibalcorpse #deathmetal #pittsburgh #fyp #married

JUST A THOUGHT

spotify knows who i voted for

i’ve noticed a trend in my Spotify feed that i don’t believe is going away any time soon. it’s well known that the streaming company i love to hate has been making a huge pivot to video, incentivizing podcast creators to upload video content for improved payouts. the listening app has been pivoting to be an “everything app.” and this week when i opened Spotify, i noticed a deluge of political content had occupied my home screen.

AND, to my dismay, it was a bunch of political content that i probably wouldn’t hate. no bro-casts in sight. just straight Trump dunking. normally my comfort zone.

yes, in the journey to be your go-to app for all things content, the political fray has to be entertained eventually. Spotify also happens to have a ton of data on what podcasts i already listen to, so it wouldn’t be hard to figure out that a guy who listens to NPR and NYT pods exclusively would enjoy more democratic fodder.

this being said, i never viewed Spotify as a platform that would algorithmically reinforce my views and beliefs. that is Instagram’s and TikTok’s job. as someone who tries desperately to limit my exposure to “feeds” and “algorithms”, the Spotify feed has officially caught me off guard. not pumped about it. i hope they stop but they definitely will not.

NEW RELEASES

what i’m listening to this week

ALBUM

front to back

an album where you can bet your bottom dollar that every song is fantastic

THE PLAYLIST

ten good songs

💿 click here for the ten good songs playlist that has ten song-pops for your ear-tongues to suck on